Life Lessons from my Mom!

Life Lessons from my Mom!

In no particular order, things I have learned from my Mom:

1. Always unplug the toaster and coffeemaker, and never leave the dryer running, when you leave the house. It is inevitable you will burn the place down.

2. Don’t preach the Golden Rule, BE the Golden Rule.

3. Learn so that you can Teach.  Teach so that you can Learn. When you stop learning, or feel the need to be seen as an “expert”, you might as well be dead.

4. Learn New Things Daily!! Love what you love-learn to play an instrument or sing, so others see and hear your heart.

5. Never be a Snob, but always have an opinion.

6. Avoid Cliques like the plague, they squelch creativity and individuality-but join groups of like minded people that are enthusiastic about something you all love.

7. Join in on lots of things with lots of people, make sure to validate other people’s efforts and make them feel happy.

8. Love what you do, Do what you love! 

9. Find joy in a flower that just bloomed, or looking up at the sky.

10. Love small creatures, take spiders outside-never kill them.

11. Help those who need it or may have less than you, expect nothing in return.

12. Always cry at sappy movies, bring tissues. Otherwise, try not to cry in public-people will think you're a sap :) Unless, of course it is Wal-Mart...no one will notice.

13. Be feisty, independent, self-motivated and strong, never blend or dumb yourself down to “fit in”.

14. Do not impose your beliefs on others. Listen to what others believe. Don’t have to agree, disagree or judge…we all have our own beliefs. If others judge you or your beliefs, ask why?

15. Learn to sew, teach someone to sew. Learn to fish, teach someone to fish.

16. Have a backbone, don’t be wishy-washy. Always step up, never back down…unless you’re wrong or being an ass, then say you’re sorry.

17. Be a good friend, find good friends, edit out those who aren’t your champion when the chips are down, or true to you-they never were your true friend. But, still love them anyway.

18. Live your life to accomplish something and give back in some way. Someday, someone will think about you-try your best to have that be with a smile. When you are dead, how will people remember you? 

19. You can’t like everyone, or they you-but be you. Try not to hurt anyone. Make decisions about people on our own experience, not gossip or someone else's opinion.

20. Never argue in public. It says more about you, than the words you are using.

21. Say what you mean honestly, but think before you say it. Being eloquent does not mean use words as sharp knives. Being dumb or "to the point" doesn't excuse being hurtful. Always be sincere, never a phony!

22. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

23. Read poetry, don't have to always understand it...just read it. One of the last things my Mom said before she slipped into a comatose state, was "feet descending down a stairway" I need to find what that references.

24. Try hard, work hard, be proud of your efforts, don't be arrogant. 

25. Commit to things & people,  don't muddle through or make excuses for being half-assed.

26. Take good care of people & critters you love,  they depend on you. 

27. Let yourself trust to depend on some others, but don't be a burden.

28. Find humor in things, especially yourself. My Mom is not a funny person, but she found a lot of things funny.  

29. It is okay to be upset when someone does you wrong or at an injustice, but don't hold grudges-get over it! "Anger hurts the one who holds it"

30. Believe that God, a Higher Power or whatever spiritual being that speaks to you, has a plan and our best interests at heart. 

I could write so many more, but these are the things that come to mind quickly. Until a few weeks ago, my Mom worked every day of her life. She was feisty, active, busy and on the go!!! She was still teaching piano and running the musical program at her church-playing the organ every Sunday. She missed playing all of the Easter services this past year, with her first bout of health emergencies-that made her so sad. 

I’m glad I spent that day with her, and Mother’s day. But, I think of all the minutes that I haven’t spent with her. I accidentally erased her last voicemail off my phone, and now I have nothing to replay, to hear her voice. I can hear in my mind, her saying my name. With all the inflections of when it was a greeting, a question or an admonition-I embrace them all. I won't really ever be able to hug my Mom again. I miss that already.

Our Moms shape who we become. They love us, no matter who we become. I am losing my Mom and my heart is shattered. She woke from her semi-coma two days ago and smiled and nodded at things I said. She squeezed my hand. She nodded yes, when I asked her if she knew how much I loved her? I kissed her hand and she tried to kiss the air. I started to cry, and her face became concerned. I asked her if she loved the Chopin I was playing, she nodded yes and smiled as she closed her eyes. She was really there with me, briefly. I think it was her final gift to me-she wanted me to remember her smile and her love. I am not ready to lose her, yet I know she is going. 

I am always hopeful, I think my Mom taught me that too. There is always a bright side! One of the primary things my Mom taught me was compassion for living creatures. She loves dogs immensely, we traveled to shows-both of us newbies when I was a kid. She went on to breed dogs that were specialled and premiered at Westminster. My Mom was never really outdoorsy or liked digging in dirt, like I am/do though-that must come from the farmer side from my Dad. She would never have wanted to be in a field with a dog and sheep-but even so, I know that my love of that, started with my Mom.

I try to keep up the happy, public face, but inside I'm crying. I apologize in advance to anyone who may be waiting for me to chat about pups-I am so looking forward to them too-but my heart is somewhere else right now. I will be back.